Write fundraising emails that grab attention, even with no copywriting skills!

Here's my story, and you'll see how easy it is for YOU to do it, too!

My wife was in our son’s Parent-Teacher Club, and asked me to help with his school fundraiser.

“Hey!  You’re an email marketer,” she said, as she volun-told me.  “I’ve put you in charge of writing and sending out the email to all the parents.”

It was a tough assignment.  We live in a working class community.  Parents have little extra money, several children in school, and are tired of donation requests.

I knew that my email’s hook needed to be different. 

A “hook” is what copywriters call the first line that gets the reader’s attention and makes them want to know more.

Here’s how I came up with the best hook for my son’s middle school fundraising email.

I’ll show you how I tried out three strong hooks to get parents excited.  I’ll also explain why one hook worked best and how you can write awesome email openings too – even with zero copywriting experience!

Imagine opening an email and deleting it in seconds. That’s what happens when your email starts boring.

A “hook” is the first line or two that grabs your reader and makes them want more. It’s like the first bite of a yummy snack—it pulls you in!

Hooks are super important in emails, especially for fundraising.

People get tons of emails every day. If your email doesn’t catch their eye, they’ll skip it.

A good hook stops them from hitting “delete” and gets them excited to read.

Fundraising emails especially need hooks. When you’re asking for money, people are going to feel tired or annoyed. A hook can make them feel happy or interested instead.

The best part?

You don’t need to be a fancy writer to make great hooks. Anyone can learn, and I’ll show you how with a real story.

My son’s middle school raises money every year for the Parent-Teacher Club. The club pays for cool stuff like gifts for teachers, guest speakers who inspire kids, and a fun day at the end of the year.

To raise funds, we planned a dance party with a local DJ named Dr. Disc, who was a big hit the previous year. We’d sell tickets to the dance and raffle tickets for prizes like gift cards and toys. The event was four weeks away, and my job was to write an email to get parents excited.

The parents are a tough crowd. They work long hours, with big families and not much extra money. They get hit up for donations all the time. 

With each child, they go through all the same fundraising expectations.  So naturally, they're tired of giving.

I knew I had to make this email different.  Make it fun, not pushy.

Last year’s dance party was a huge win. The money we raised helped buy a puppy for a popular math teacher who retired. Her dog and companion for 15 years had died earlier that year.  The new puppy was perfect.

I wanted this year’s email to spark that same excitement and show parents their money makes a difference.

To make the email work, I tried three types of hooks: Story, Curiosity, and Promise. Each one fits our parents in a special way.

Here’s why they were great choices.

Story Hook: This hook tells a quick tale to pull readers in.

I could’ve started with, “Picture kids dancing with joy at last year’s party. Your help gave Mrs. Johnson a puppy to love!”

It would work because it makes parents feel part of something warm and happy. Instead of asking for money, it shares a story they’d want to join. For parents tired of donation requests, this hook felt like a hug, not a push.

Curiosity Hook: This hook teases something fun to make readers wonder.

I could’ve used, “What’s got every kid talking about at school?”

It would work because it focuses on the dance party’s excitement. Dr. Disc was back by popular demand! Parents would forget about money and get curious about the event. It'd be perfect for grabbing attention without sounding like another boring donation email.

Promise Hook: This hook promises a clear benefit.

I thought about, “Let your kids dance all night at Dr. Disc’s awesome party for less than a pizza!”

I figured it'd work because it promised a fun night for kids at an affordable cost. Parents with tight budgets would love hearing they could give their kids a great time without breaking their wallets. It made giving feel easy and fun, not like a chore.

I went with "pizza" because it's a common point of reference for fun and for cost that everyone could understand.

All three hooks were strong, but one stood out the best.

I chose the Promise Hook because it was perfect for our parents.

They had little money and were sick of donation emails -- but they love their children. The Promise Hook spoke right to them by offering a fun night for their kids at a super low price.

This hook also dodged the usual “please give money” vibe. Instead of begging, it focused on the dance party’s joy—music, lights, and kids having a blast. Parents felt good about buying tickets or raffle entries because it was a treat for their kids, not just a donation. Plus, it tied to the school’s goals—supporting teachers, inviting guest speakers, and the yearend fun day. 

All without sounding pushy.

When I wrote that hook, I had an “aha” moment. I realized promising something parents wanted (a safe, affordable, fun night for their kids) was the key to getting them excited. It worked like a charm, and parents started buying tickets early.

In less than 150 words, here’s how my email went:

End result:  this year’s turn out and the ticket sales were 63% higher than the previous year’s.

Writing hooks is easier than you think. Here are four simple tips to start:

Hooks are your secret weapon for all your emails – especially your fundraising emails. They grab attention and make people want to read.

For my son’s school fundraiser, Story, Curiosity, and Promise Hooks were all good hooks because they connect with tired, budget-tight parents.

The Promise Hook won because it offered a fun, cheap night for kids, making giving feel easy.

You don’t need fancy skills to write hooks—just a little practice.

Try a Promise Hook in your next email. Offer something your readers want and watch them respond.

Your next email could be Your Best Email!